Missing Mom

Tomorrow marks six months since Mom died. It is funny because ever since I can remember, I worried about my mom dying. Who would love me and take care of me I would think and I prayed diligently that she would be safe. Now that it has really happened, it is no less hard that I am all grown up with children and a grandchild of my own. I still feel that loss and wonder, who will take care of me and love me, like a mother? For there really is no one like a mother. I am so thankful that I had her as long as I did. Although, I would have enjoyed a few more years! I think of her everyday. I stop at her house to check the mail and sometimes I even think I can hear her call my name. I realized today that I really need to do something about her house. Almost everything is exactly how it was six months ago. I have not even taken out the trash in the bathroom or family room. It is like one day I will walk in and see her there waiting for me. You never really understand how much you love some one until you lose them. Nor can you ever imagine how much you will miss them. I thought today of all the things I miss

1. the knitting projects she was always working on

2. hearing about lunch with the denim girls

3. asking me what plastic canvas door hanging I wanted next

4. hearing about the interesting things that happened at the family history center

5. being told I was working too hard. Me?

6. hearing, "ummmm this tastes so good"

7. asking me what can I do to help you?

8. asking me what Katie and Josie would want for their birthdays

9. saying how much she loved that baby

10. hearing her tell me how proud she was of each of her grandchildren

11. seeing her out weeding her flowers

12. seeing her out trimming her roses

13. fresh roses in a vase on her table

14. telling me, "I love you"

15. petting Tundra and giving her treats

16. coming through the gate

17. seeing her at the organ

18. hearing her play the organ

19. hearing her play the piano

20. listening to my woes

21. seeing her door decorations change

22. seeing her in her robe all ready to go somewhere special ready to put on her dress at the last minute.

23. eating Sunday dinner with us

24. celebrating Christmas with her

25. coloring Easter eggs with her

26. Easter egg hunts in her back yard where the eggs are hidden over and over, everyone taking a turn to hide them

27. Missouri cookies rolled into egg shapes

28. special chocolate in the cookie jar just for me

29. cookies in the cookie drawer

30. the smell of a freshly baked pie

31. birthday lunches

32. laughing together

33. talking together

34. crying together

35. remembering Margaret together

36. hearing about the cute things I did as a little girl

37. trips to the grocery store together

38. always being there for me

39. her smile

40. her laugh

41. her voice

42. her love

43. her hugs

44. her joy over little things

45. her kindness

46. her patience

47. her example of service

48. her sense of humor

49. her testimony

50. dress shopping

51. surprises

52. her never ending support of everything I did.

53. her kiss

Thank you, Mom, for making me the person that I am!